why do i keep falling for you if i know i wont land well
by justifyingReality413
Summary: bullshit venting


Your name is Dave Strider and today is your birthday. Bro let you stay home from school, and Dee helped make you a cake.

And now we get to the important part.

John came over after school and hung out for a bit, talking about the stupidest of shit("it would be awesome if nick cage and Matthew maconahey made out-" "McConaughey, Dave!")

Anyway, yeah, you were derping around on your computer and looking at sbahj and some other shit, and listening to remixes you'd made of recordings of him playing piano. You have the originals somewhere.

And then Dee _finally_ fucking frosted the cake. Duncan Hines, you made sure it wasn't Crocker crap. John laughed so much when you first told him that- shit.

Yeah, long story short you're head over heels.

You got to hang out for a bit longer after that, and then walked him home.

"What kind of fucking gentleman best friend would i be if I didn't, Egderp?"

"A good one! I mean, it is kinda dark, and cold, and raining."

"And that's why I can't let you walk home alone. You might lose your glasses and die."

"Dave. You're just trying to spend more time with me, aren't you?"

Fuck. "Well no shit. You're my best friend, dude."

He giggles(so adorable fuck)and punches you in the shoulder lightly. "Of course! But i really have to get home, i have homework to do."

"Why do homework when you could do me?"

"Because I am this close to failing biology. You're worse than I am!"

"Oh yeah, can i just copy off your homework when you're done?"

"I did your homework for you!"

"Oh yeah. I kinda need that."

He just keeps giggling. "I'll give it to you tomorrow before school. We are gonna walk together, right?"

"Hell fuckin yes."

"Alright then! So now what? We're almost there-"

A big car comes zooming past you. You instinctively turn and protect john, but your jacket is soaked through. "Now we move past the puddles."

"I agree!"

You walk a bit faster, your shoes making gross squelching noises because of the water in them. You're almost there when john stops you, pointing at the reflection of streetlights in a puddle. "Look. Beautiful, right? That's why I love the water."

"Yeah, I guess." You really don't want to ruin the (nonexistent) moment. "That's hella gay, Egbert."

"Dave, I am not a homosexual."

"Of course not." You knew that-

"I am _bi_ sexual. There's a difference."

Wait, what? "Cool."

"..." There's an awkward silence before he speaks. "Did I really make the great Dave Strider speechless? Wow."

"Of course not, I'm just thinkin bout shit. You couldn't even comprehend how many trains of thought you just derailed with that lil' line a speech there, casualty level through the fuckin roof at this rate."

"Dave. You are a dork."

"Nerd."

"Dork!"

"Nerrrrrrd."

This continues til you get to his front door. He hugs you and holyfuck he kisses your cheek. "See you tomorrow, Dave!"

"Yeah, see ya, John."

He grins at you and closes the door. You hear a faint "Dad, I'm home!" through it. You just kind of stand there for a bit before heading home.

-pagebreak-

You get home and wait for five minutes before Bro opens the door for you. "You really lock me out on my birthday, Bro? Uncool."

You go up to your room and immediately get on the computer. You open pesterchum and open a memo.

#holyfuckingfuck

-CTG invited CCG to this memo-

-CTG invited CGC to this memo-

CTG: so guys

CCG: HMM?

CGC: D4V3, WH4T 1S 1T?

CTG: so

CGC: D444V3. W1THOLD1NG OF 1NFORM4T1ON 1S 4 CR1M3.

CCG: DAVE, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. FUCKING TELL US.

CTG: so i kinda have a crush on john

CTG: but i like both you guys still

CTG: fuck this is weird

CCG: DAVE, IF YOU WANT TO BREAK UP WITH US FOR EGBUTT, I CAN'T STOP YOU.

CGC: D4v3. You don't h4v3 to worry. W3'll b3 f1n3. 1 th1nk.

CTG: thats not it i dont wanna break up with you guys

CTG: shitfuck

CTG: im just gonna ask rose what to do

CCG: SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN. TALK TO YOU LATER, DAVE. 3

CTG: gnight karks 3

-carcinoGeneticist ceased responding to memo-

CGC: 1 TH1NK TH4T 1S 4 V3RY GOOD 1D34, D4V3. T4LK TO YOUR COUS1N 4ND OH S4Y H1 TO K4N4Y4 FOR M3!

CTG: will do gnight tez 3

CGC: 3

\- gallowsCalibrator ceased responding to memo-

\- turntechGodhead closed this memo-

\- turntechGodhead began pestering tentacleTherapist-

tg: rose

tg: rose

tg: rooooooose

tt: Dave.

tg: rooooooooo oh hey

TT: Sup.

TG: shit

TG: so yeah lemme just get all this out

TG: im fuckin falling for egderp and hes actually legit flirting w me like really

TG: and his no homo bullshit aint actually bullshit hes just bi and he winked at me when he said that

TG: and karkat and terezi just said they want me to be happy and i dunno cuz i dont wanna break up either of them but john might npt wanna be in a weird poly relationship

TG: oh btw tez says hi to maryam

TG: anyway help

TT: I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave.

TG: dont you fucking reference at me

TG: mmmmmohmygod stop fuckin referencing

TT: I will stop when you stop meming.

TG: fine

TG: what do

TT: I don't know. I'd say talk things out with John. Or perhaps write him a rap, as you are prone to letting your feelings out through rhyme.

TG: good shit lalonde

TG: lets hope things go according to keikaku

TG: translators note keikaku means plan

TT: Dave.

TT: I shall talk to him tomorrow.

TG: dont you fucking dare

TT: Good night, Dave.

TG: starting to write the thing now

TT: That right there is some excellent feces.

TG: rose

TG: rose no

TT: One with lesser vocabulary might also say "good shit."

TG: oh my gog

TT: Goodnight, Dave.

TG: gnight rose

-turntechGodhead ceased pestering tentacleTherapist-

So you sit down and you write. You pour out your feelings onto the paper, and then put on your headphones and drown yourself in the beat. Oh shit, this is near the end-

And then one of your mixes of John's favorite piece follows it. Perfect. All the feels.

You are so fucked.


End file.
